Going All-In: Fear, freedom and the courage to launch
A year ago today, my family took a big leap into the unknown and moved from the East Coast to Colorado. Three months later, I took another leap when I retired from my twenty-year career in public accounting—the only career I had ever known—a career that offered safety, predictability, and the kind of financial security where I could often say yes to what my heart desired. It was a stark contrast to my humble beginnings and a role I worked tirelessly to achieve. A privilege I never took for granted.
And yet, over time, every bone in my body told me I was limiting my potential, my joy, by filling my days with a high-pressure, technical role that didn’t feed my soul. I recognize the privilege of being able to walk away, of having a financial buffer to intentionally design my next chapter. Looking back now, I can see how bold that decision really was.
In those first few months, I leaned into the freedom of owning my time—designing my days, saying yes and no on my terms. For one of the first times in my adult life, I could pause and savor the open space. But as the months wore on, so did the anxiety. The reality of going out on my own hit hard: the daunting task of building something entirely new from the ground up. The fear that what I gave up might not be so easy to recreate.
Over the holidays, I found myself flirting with the familiar—applying for jobs that weren’t the best fit but promised safety. Worrying about what happens if the buffer runs out. I considered trading in the vulnerability of this experiment for the security of something predictable, something that didn’t require me to fully commit to launching the creative outlets my heart has been calling me to share.
Security is safe. It’s comfortable. But it’s also a place where you can float without intention.
Even in my writing life, I’ve kept it in the margins—something I fit into stolen moments between mom life and the busywork that pays the bills. But busy doesn’t create the life I’m destined to live. It creates distractions that keep me from hearing my soul’s deepest desires.
As I sit here in the first weeks of this new year—a year that already feels so uncertain and unsettling, filled with twists and turns—I am fully acknowledging the fear and vulnerability of going all in.
To truly commit to life as an author, not in scraps of time but in the full energy of my days.
To launch my signature Soulful Leadership Academy which blends my other genius spaces: neuroscience, creative expression, and executive coaching.
To take the leap and make it happen.
Because here’s the truth: when we’re scared, it’s easy to go half-hearted into something. That way, if it doesn’t work out, we don’t have to feel the sting of failure. But to truly go all in? That takes a different kind of courage.
While my brain tempts me to cling to the safety net, I haven’t come this far—walked away from the greatest security I’ve ever known—to hold back now. I recognize that not everyone gets to make this kind of leap, which is why it feels even more important to give it everything I’ve got.
So, this is my accountability call. To myself and to you. I’m declaring my intent to show up fully, to give my all, and to believe in myself fully.
I’m cheering myself on—and I hope you’ll cheer alongside me.
For the world needs who we were made to be.
